Teen relationships can be exciting, confusing, and unfortunately sometimes damaging. Unfortunately, dating abuse — including physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, or digital harm affects young people far more often than many realize. In fact, about one in three adolescents’ experiences physical, emotional, sexual, and/or verbal abuse from a dating partner, and teens may face unique barriers to getting help.

The information in this blog is not meant to discourage anyone from experiencing dating or building meaningful connections. Instead, it is intended to educate, support, and remind those who may be facing unhealthy behaviors that they are not alone and that help is available. It also offers guidance on how to be an advocate and a voice for a friend who may not be able to speak up for themselves.

That’s why Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM), observed every February, is so important. This national campaign promotes education, advocacy, and prevention — and reminds teens they are not alone.

Friends are often the first people teens turn to when something feels wrong in a relationship — and your response can make a powerful difference. But how can peers support someone who might be in an abusive relationship, without putting themselves or their friend in danger?

Teen dating violence can take many forms, and it isn’t always easy to recognize, especially when unhealthy behaviors are often mistaken for affection, attention, or “normal” relationship problems. Dating abuse can include behaviors like checking a partner’s phone, texts, or social media accounts without permission, showing extreme jealousy, or trying to isolate someone from their friends and family. It may involve constant criticism, verbal put-downs, or controlling what someone wears, where they go, or who they talk to. These patterns often start subtly and gradually escalate over time. Because these warning signs can be confusing, it’s important for teens, caregivers, and peers to understand what unhealthy behaviors look like

What Is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM)?

Each February, national and local organizations unite to raise awareness about teen dating violence and help teens and caregivers recognize unhealthy relationship behaviors early. This month boosts education, support services, and prevention efforts nationwide.

Dating abuse can have serious short- and long-term effects on mental and emotional health, including anxiety, depression, and higher risk for continued victimization later in life.

But when friends listen, validate, and support someone through safe steps toward help, they can make a real difference. Peers who respond with care can help break the silence and encourage healthy decisions without sacrificing their own safety. Here are some tips on how to so this:

How Friends Can Support Someone — Safely and Effectively

1. Start With Careful, Nonjudgmental Listening

If you’re worried about a friend, begin with open-ended, gentle questions like:

“I’ve noticed you seem stressed when they text you — how are you feeling about everything?”

Focus on creating a safe space. Teens may hesitate to open up if they feel judged or blamed.

2. Validate Their Feelings — Without Pressuring Decisions

Instead of saying “You should leave,” try:

• “That sounds really tough — I’m here for you.”
• “You deserve to feel safe and respected.”

Help your friend feel heard and supported — even if they’re not ready to act yet.

3. Encourage Support From Trusted Adults or Professionals

Friends are crucial but professionals can offer long-term help. You might suggest:

• Talking to a trusted adult, teacher, or school counselor
• Contacting a crisis hotline
• Finding community support services

If your friend is unsure about telling an adult alone, you can offer to go with them.

4. Help Them Make a Simple Safety Plan

This doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can include:

• Knowing who to call in an emergency
• Avoiding being alone with someone who makes them uncomfortable
• Keeping important contacts easily accessible

Do not try to intervene physically or confront the partner yourself. Your safety matters too.

5. Stay Connected and Check In Often

Isolation makes abusive situations even harder. Regular texts, invites to hang out, or just being present can help your friend feel supported and less alone.

6. Know When to Share With an Adult

If your friend is in immediate danger, you should involve a trusted adult even if they don’t want you to. Let them know you’re doing it because you care about their safety.

SERV — Support for Survivors and Their Friends

SERV (Services Empowering Rights of Victims), a program here within Center For Family Services, offers crisis intervention, counseling, and support for people affected by unhealthy or abusive relationships, including teens and young adults. During Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and year-round, SERV provides:

• 24/7 hotlines for immediate support
• Counseling and recovery services
• Education and prevention programs
• Personalized advocacy and referrals

SERV’s trained staff can help teens and their supporters understand options and access safety planning and resources, helping them on a path toward healing.

If You or a Friend Needs Help Right Now 

• SERV Hotline (South Jersey, 24/7): 1-866-295-7378
• National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474 (free, confidential help)